The Crap Joke of the Day™ customer relations team has been drowning in complaints following our failure yesterday to deliver on our promise to publish one crap joke every working day. We apologise for any inconvenience, pain or suffering caused, but there were extenuating circumstances.
Readers of Crap Joke of the Day™ #13 will remember that a great heist took place here at CJotD HQ last week. Our joke logbook – a leather-bound, cobwebbed tome shrouded in literally months of history – went missing in mysterious circumstances.
Some new-fangled highlighter pens are also missing.
We have been working hand-in-hand with MI5 to identify the perpetrator of this heinous act and, hopefully, recover the document. While the CJotD offices have been plunged into a paranoia-fuelled turmoil, we would like to put on record that we have been delighted with the energy and commitment shown by the government’s officers during the course of what is clearly a very thorough investigation. We’ll keep you posted with any further developments.
Unfortunately for us, we have been forced to turn off the main CJotD supercomputer while the police analyse email traffic in the hunt for the criminal. As a result, it just wasn’t possible to deliver a crap joke yesterday.
On a positive note, our crisis team have now had time to devise an interim measure to get us back on the tinterweb superhighway. In honour of the great work being undertaken by our nation’s finest, today’s Crap Joke of the Day™ not only entertains but also pays homage to the great work they do to seek truth and justice for those in need.
An ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police reports suggest he’d topped himself.
Another one of those, same time tomorrow.