Crap Joke of the Day™ #71

Happy Monday, crap joke fans. We hope you had a good weekend.

Today’s entry will be short and sweet but, before we progress to the hilarity, we’d like to take the opportunity to respond to some correspondence you’ve been sending us over the weekend. Having read Friday’s entry, many of you were concerned about George, our caretaker. Some of you were concerned for his health, others that CJotD management might come down too heavily on him after the incident.

Firstly, we would like to reassure you all that, despite his advancing years, George is in fine health. Last week’s episode certainly shook him – being attacked by an eagle on Regent Street would do that to anyone. However, aside from a slight propensity to glance at the sky with alarming regularity (outdoors or indoors) and his insistence that all his valuables be sewn to the inside sleeve of his duffel coat via steel wire, he seems to have developed no symptoms whatsoever.

And on the second point: it is not Crap Joke of the Day™ policy to punish its employees for honest mistakes. People make mistakes – as readers of CJotD #64 were all-to-keen to testify – and we are always ready to accept them. Indeed, we believe that making mistakes is CJotD’s secret weapon when it comes to our barrier-breaking creative comedy.

George was given a box of chocolates and a day off. We were delighted to see him back in the office this morning: he truly is a part of the furniture. And on that bombshell: here’s today’s two liner. Tell your friends.

I got work this morning to find a lump of Plasticine on my desk.
I don’t know what to make of it.

Another one of those, same time tomorrow.

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